A date with the abortionist
Men tend to take abortion lightly; they . . . fail to realize the values involved. . . . Women learn to believe no longer in what men say . . . the one thing they are sure of is this rifled and bleeding womb, these shreds of crimson life, this child that is not there.
–Simone de Beauvoir, feminist leader and advocate of legalized abortion,
in The Second Sex, 1952
Marlee and I drove south on the winding mountain road toward a little town on the state border, not talking much, listening to Little Peggy March sing “I Will Follow Him” on the local AM radio station. I was into my best Gary Cooper/High Noon impersonation—silent, fearless, resolute. And while Marlee would typically be doing her cute, ditzy blonde routine a la Carol Channing, today she was more reflective and even a little clingy.
We’d met at a fraternity party earlier in the school year, and we were a perfect match for the times: I was a hot shot frat boy, campus politico and football player, and she was a really cute and classy sorority girl from New England. It didn’t take long for us to wind up in bed together, but, alas, at some point my trusty condom didn’t do the job for which it was intended. Marlee discovered she was pregnant sometime in April of our sophomore year—1963. We were both 20 with no intention of having a child. So the solution to our dilemma was abortion, even though it was illegal in the U.S. at the time, even though Marlee was Catholic.
Saturday, August 19th, 2006What I did on my summer vacation
Jeez, what a summer this has been. And it ain’t over ’til it’s over!
Taking care of mom
First of all, my mom, Sue, fell and broke both her ankles in May. Don’t ask me how she managed this. I still haven’t figured it out and, frankly, have quit trying. Let’s just say she’s a 35-year-old woman trapped in an 81-year-old body and leave it at that. Shonnie and I spent the better part of a week in my hometown of Tullahoma, Tennessee, being with my mom during the operation on one of her ankles and caring for her until my sister, Nancy, got home from a trip. By the way, Shonnie was a real trooper during this challenging time, taking the lead in changing bandages, diapers, helping my mom get cleaned up, whatever needed to be done. To recall that I considered undertaking this responsibility by myself makes me wonder what the hell I was thinking at the time.
I can say that seeing my mom helpless, seeing her aging body, certainly awakened me to greater compassion for her and, at the same time, awakened me to her mortality. . . and to mine. So here is my opportunity to look after my mother as she looked after me for so many years.
Grieving the passing of Sharon Parish and celebrating her life
My dear friend, Sharon Parish, died on May 31, 2006. She’d suffered a heart failure on May 16th and had been kept alive in the hospital on life support systems. She passed away peacefully several days after the oxygen, feeding tubes, etc. were removed, as she had requested in her living will.
The pain of missing her resurfaces in me as I write this. Sharon was 49 years old and a powerful presence in my life and in the lives of so many others, especially her family. Sharon, her husband Tom, son Justin, and later, her daughter Lily, were my surrogate family when I moved to Austin in 1991. I actually had Saturday dinner at their house more often than not my first few years there. There’s much more that I could say about Sharon—first meeting her at Way of a Warrior in 1988, the volunteer work we did at Bastrop Federal Correctional Institution, the rejuvenation of the More To Life Program in Austin, and much more.
The viewing of her body on June 4 and the memorial service later that day in Austin were both bitter-sweet occasions—bitter in that Sharon was no longer with us in her mortal form, sweet in that I got to share the memories of her and her impact with so many friends from around the nation who were also close to her. And getting to spend some time afterwards with Tom, Lily, Justin, and his fiancé, Juliet, at their home was healing for me and, I believe, for Shonnie too.
You can learn more about Sharon Parish by visiting the blog that Tom has created for her: http://sharonparish.typepad.com. Peace be with you, dear Sharon.
Bruce and Shonnie on holiday
Over the week of July 4, Shonnie and I went backpacking on the Appalachian Trail, beginning at Winding Stair Gap; hiking over Siler’s Bald, Wayah Bald, Wesser Bald; and finally winding up at Nantahala Outdoor Center in Wesser on our final day. We had breathtaking scenery, marvelous weather (except for a couple of nighttime thunder storms) and a fantastic time. And it was great to get back to a hot shower, non-freeze-dried food, cold beer, a comfortable bed and our loyal kitty friends.
Molly and Jack come for a visit!
Our grandkids, Molly (10) and Jack (7), spent four days with us in mid-July, and we had lots of fun and frivolity while they were here. One day we all hiked to the upper falls at Graveyard Fields where we picnicked and splashed around in the pools of water beneath the falls. Later in the week we went on an thrilling white water rafting trip on the Nantahala River. Later we went to their great-grandma’s (my Mom’s) for a surprise visit. We also watched Harry Potter movies, read Captain Underpants comics, told jokes and spoke pig Latin so we wouldn’t give our secrets away to the NSA. Onnieshay earnedlay otay eakspay ityay ootay! A joke from Jack: “What’s the difference between boogers and broccoli? Kids won’t eat broccoli!”
I Do! I Do! The Marriage Vow Workbook is published
After working on it for almost a year, I Do! I Do! The Marriage Vow Workbook is now available, and we’re really excited about its prospects. Our book is an inspirational resource for creating compelling marriage vows that has been endorsed by noted psychologists and theologians alike, including Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want and cocreator of Imago Relationship Therapy. And we’be gotten a lot of help from other friends and associates too. A big thanks to everyone who had a hand in bring this project to fruition.
Our intention is to make our book available to couples throughout the U.S. and beyond, so we’d welcome your support in doing so in any way that fits for you. And, yes, please let us know if you’re a personal friend of Oprah’s.
Well, that’s it for now, folks. I can hardly wait to see what the rest of this summer has in store for me! I’ll keep you in the loop.
Saturday, August 5th, 2006
