Texas on my mind, plus a “Secret” shift
I’ve had Texas on my mind lately—the death of Ann Richards, learning that Molly Ivins has cancer, Lance Armstrong training for the NY Marathon, the passing of Sharon Parish, my connection with her family and our friends in Austin and beyond . . . And, of course, my daughter Lilla and my grandkids, Jack and Molly (that’s them at the right of my header), waiting for Brandon’s return from Iraq in early December. Plus Sara Hickman singing “Comfort’s Sigh” over the computer headphones.
My long-time feline companion, Chocolate, is lying on my desk this morning, purring, wanting her belly rubbed. She’s 18 years old and still going strong, though she has some challenges with pain in her hips from time to time. Chocolate was my sole companion for those five years I lived alone in the hills outside Austin, waking up to who I really am, creating an intention to live the life for which I was intended, envisioning what that would look like, attracting Shonnie into my life. Yep, Texas on my mind.
Which brings me to another topic. Since watching the movie, “The Secret,” something has really shifted in me; I have more gratitude for what I have—Shonnie, my family, my kitty family members, my friends, my health, the life we’ve created for ourselves, Asheville, Jubilee!, the mountains that surround us here, what is yet to come. I’d spent close to two years in anger and resentment about the current administration and this nation’s march toward authoritarianism. But when I retook the More To Life basic course in Knoxville in August, I woke up to the fact that as long as I am holding ill will against anyone (including myself), I am out of integrity. And that was the first step toward coming home: letting go of resentment toward Shonnie, other family members, George W. Bush, Dick Chaney, Donald Rumsfeld, Carl Rove. Once I did that, a dark cloud lifted. I embraced life. I felt joy, happiness, hope, delight in what is, a connection with all those around me, with all that is. Not all the time, but much of the time.
So I went out and bought a DVD of “The Secret” yesterday at Mystic Journeys, a new agey store near downtown Asheville. And I intend to watch it a number of times so that its message really sinks in. What’s it about? Well, I’m not going to spoil the secret, but just let me say that many of you likely know much of the information in it. But the message of the power we each have to create what we really want, to attract into our lives our most cherished dreams is potently presented, presented in a way that is easy to understand and absorb. If you haven’t seen it, my recommendation is that you do so. And if you live in Western North Carolina, come over to our house this weekend and watch it with me and Shonnie.
Namaste, y’all!
Thursday, September 28th, 2006Award-winning columnist features our book in her “How To” column
Today award-winning, syndicated columnist Susan Reinhardt’s story about Shonnie and me and our book, I Do! I Do! The Marriage Vow Workbook appeared on the front page of the Asheville Citizen-Times Living section. And we couldn’t be more pleased and grateful for Susan’s column and for this opportunity for folks to learn about our work.
The story, “Feelings of the Heart: You don’t have to be a professional to write your own wedding vows,” tells about our relationship and how we came to write The Marriage Vow Workbook. It also includes quotes from Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of the NY Times bestseller Getting the Love You Want who contributed to the book, and from newly-weds Allison Jordan and Gil Holmes, who used the book to write their vows.
In addition, the story offers our how-to tips for writing your own vows as well as Tom and Sharon Parish’s “Tips for Staying Together” that they gave us as a wedding gift in 1999.
Our profound gratitude to each of you who have supported (and are supporting) us in this endeavor, be it in action, word or spirit. Our intention is to make our book available to couples who want to create fulfilling and enduring relationships and, in doing so, help shift the cultural paradigm toward one of greater love, connection and compassion.
You can link to the online version of the story at http://www.citizen-times.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=200660925051. To learn more about Susan Reinhardt, visit www.susanreinhardt.com. To learn more about our book, visit www.MarriageVowWorkbook.com.
Please pass this along to all who might be interested, especially if you happen to have an e-mail address for Oprah.
Tuesday, September 26th, 2006Posting instead of journaling?
As I was sitting down to do my daily (well, almost daily) journaling, I had a thought: What if, instead of journaling, I posted on my blog? I have concerns about offering my unfiltered thoughts and feelings to the world, but if my life is an open book as I frequently say it is, what’s the big deal? In the midst of working to publicize our new book, I Do! I Do! The Marriage Vow Workbook, I’ve been missing writing creatively, and this would be uncensored, unpolished, unpublished me. As Kinky Friedman says about his Texas gubernatorial campaign, “Why the hell not?”
So here goes.
I awakened this morning to Bandit’s morning kisses. Bandit is the warrior-lover of our feline family members. Each morning around daybreak, he leaps on our bed and licks me and Shonnie on the lips until we wake up. Now, we like to think that Bandit does this out of his affection for us (and I think there’s lots of truth to this theory), but my guess is that it’s also a wake up call: Time for humans to rise and shine and time for kitty breakfast. If I could just teach him to turn on the coffee pot just before his A.M. sojourns to our bedroom.
Building Bridges
Shonnie and I have our weekly session at Building Bridges tonight, and I haven’t finished reading the material this week (white privilege) or answering the questions. I guess I know how I’ll be spending my lunch break. “Going beyond racism through understanding and respect.” That’s how the website describes it. For me it’s been an opportunity to hear how the racism inherent in our culture affects African-Americans in Asheville and how my sometimes unconscious beliefs help support the prejudice and stereotyping. If you’re interested my personal path in this area, you can read a piece I wrote for the Asheville Citizen-Times a few years back titled “Hi, I’m Bruce, and I’m a recovering racist.”
Tuesday, September 26th, 2006
Flash Beer
Brighten up your day with this hilarious beer ad that provides a unusual rendition of a dance scene from the 1983 movie Flashdance by a wanna-be brewer at Australia’s Carlton Brewery. Click here to watch the ad: Flash Beer
Friday, September 22nd, 2006“And the men,” a poem by Tony Hoagland
Below is a truly moving poem “And The Men” by Tony Hoagland from Hard Rain: A Chapbook. This poem comes to you courtesy of The Writer’s Almanac by Garrison Keillor.
Click here to listen to the poem (RealAudio)
And The Men
want back in:
all the Dougs and the Michaels, the Darnells, the Erics and Josés,
they’re standing by the off-ramp of the interstate
holding up cardboard signs that say WILL WORK FOR RELATIONSHIP.
Their love-mobiles are rusty.
Their Shaggin’ Wagons are up on cinderblocks.
They’re reading self-help books and practicing abstinence,
taking out Personals ads that say
“Good listener would like to meet lesbian ladies,
for purposes of friendship only.”
In short, they’ve changed their minds, the men:
they want another shot at the collaborative enterprise.
Want to do fifty-fifty housework and childcare;
They want commitment renewal weekends and couples therapy.
Because being a man was finally too sad—
In spite of the perks, the lifetime membership benefits.
And it got old,
telling the joke about the hooker and the priest
at the company barbeque, praising the vintage of the beer and
punching the shoulders of a bud
in a little overflow of homosocial bonhomie—
Always holding the fear inside
like a tipsy glass of water—
Now they’re ready to talk, really talk about their feelings,
in fact they’re ready to make you sick with revelations of
their vulnerability—
A pool of testosterone is spreading from around their feet,
it’s draining out of them like radiator fluid,
like history, like an experiment that failed.
So here they come on their hands and knees, the men:
Here they come. They’re really beaten. No tricks this time.
No fine print.
Please, they’re begging you. Look out.
Heave ho, me hearties!
Yes, it’s Talk Like a Pirate Day once again. So if you have any buckles, don’t forget to swash them! And keelhaul any lubber who refuses to join in. Dave Barry’s September 8, 2002 column that helped make Talk Like a Pirate Day a national celebration is available by clicking here, and below is an excerpt from that column:
So I have decided to throw my full support behind Talk Like a Pirate Day, to be observed this Sept. 19. To help promote this important cause, I have decided to seek the endorsement of famous celebrities, and I am pleased to report that, as of today, Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts, Britney Spears, Brad Pitt, Oprah Winfrey, the Osbournes, Tiger Woods, Ted Koppel, the Sopranos, Puff Doody and the late Elvis Presley are all people who I hope will read this column and become big supporters. I see no need to recruit President Bush, because he already talks like a pirate, as we can see from this transcript of a recent White House press conference:
REPORTER: Could you please explain either your foreign or your domestic policy?
PRESIDENT BUSH: Arrrrr.
Ahoy, matie, is that a blunderbuss in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?
Molly Ivins’ tribute to Former Texas Governor Ann Richards
Ann Richards, former governor of Texas, passed away on September 13 at the age of 73 after having been diagnosed with esophageal cancer in March. During her term as governor in the early 1990s, she appointed women, African-Americans and Hispanics to government positions in numbers unheard of prior to her taking office. Ann was governor when I moved to Austin, but lost her reelection bid to George W. Bush in 1994. I never met her, but while running around Town Lake on a warm Texas day, I saw her walking in the opposite direction, and I nodded respectfully as I passed. Below is Molly Ivins tribute to Ann.
‘And who is this lovely lady?’
By Molly Ivins
Ft. Worth Star-Telegram
September 15, 2006AUSTIN - She was so generous with her responses to other people. If you told Ann Richards something really funny, she wouldn’t just smile or laugh — she would stop and break up completely.
She taught us all so much — she was a great campfire cook. Her wit was a constant delight. One night on the river on a canoe trip, while we all listened to the next rapid, which sounded like certain death, Ann drawled: “It sounds like every whore in El Paso just flushed her john.”
She knew how to deal with teenage egos: Instead of pointing out to a kid who was pouring charcoal lighter on a live fire that he was an idiot, Ann said: “Honey, if you keep doing that, the fire is going to climb right back up to that can in your hand and explode and give you horrible injuries, and it will just ruin my entire weekend.”
She knew what it was like to have four young children and to be so tired that you cried while folding the laundry. She knew and valued Wise Women like Virginia Whitten and Helen Hadley.
At a long-ago political do at Scholz Garten in Austin, everybody who was anybody was there, meet-in’ and greetin’ at a furious pace. A group of us got the tired feet and went to lean our rears against a table at the back wall of the bar. Perched like birds in a row were Bob Bullock, then state comptroller; moi; Charles Miles, the head of Bullock’s personnel department; and Ms. Ann Richards.
Bullock, with 20 years in Texas politics, knew every sorry, no-good sonofagun in the entire state. Some old racist judge from East Texas came up to him: “Bob, my boy, how are you?”
Bullock said: “Judge, I’d like you to meet my friends. This is Molly Ivins with the Texas Observer.”
The judge peered up at me and said, “How yew, little lady?”
Bullock: “And this is Charles Miles, the head of my personnel department.”
Miles, who is black, stuck out his hand, and the judge got an expression on his face as though he had just stepped into a fresh cowpie. He reached out and touched Charlie’s palm with one finger while turning eagerly to the pretty, blond, blue-eyed Ann. “And who is this lovely lady?”
Ann beamed and replied, “I am Mrs. Miles.” (more…)
Friday, September 15th, 2006
War on terrorism or war on appendicitis?
Many of our political leaders and much of our media seem focused on the threat of Islamic terrorists, suggesting that we should be very, very afraid. However, according to Wired.com writer Ryan Singel in his recent article “One Million Ways to Die,” an American is more likely to die from appendicitis than at the hands of al-Qaida:
Comparing official mortality data with the number of Americans who have been killed inside the United States by terrorism since the 1995 bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma reveals that scores of threats are far more likely to kill an American than any terrorist — at least, statistically speaking.
In fact, your appendix is more likely to kill you than al-Qaida is.
With that in mind, here’s a handy ranking of the various dangers confronting America, based on the number of mortalities in each category throughout the 11-year period spanning 1995 through 2005 (extrapolated from best available data).
S E V E R E
Driving off the road: 254,419
Falling: 146,542
Accidental poisoning: 140,327H I G H
Dying from work: 59,730
Walking down the street: 52,000.
Accidentally drowning: 38,302E L E V A T E D
Killed by the flu: 19,415
Dying from a hernia: 16,742G U A R D E D
Accidental firing of a gun: 8,536
Electrocution: 5,171L O W
Being shot by law enforcement: 3,949
Terrorism: 3147
Carbon monoxide in products: 1,554Of course, there are many who believe that what we think about most, what we focus our attention on, we attract to ourselves be it terrorist attacks, the newest strain of flu or an auto accident. Or a nation at peace, a happy home, an ideal relationship. It’s our choice. Always has been.
Note to self: Be very aware of what I allow into in my rambunctious mind for more than likely, I’ll create exactly what I think of most often.
Friday, September 15th, 2006
