New member of Lavender-Mulkey family due to arrive in early September
We’re writing to share some very exciting and possibly surprising news with you. We’re pregnant!
Well, technically just Shonnie is pregnant. And we are expecting our baby to arrive on or around September 5. Shonnie is now through her first trimester, is feeling well and is adjusting to a body that seems to change every few days. Bruce is envisioning how we’ll create a nurturing space in our 
home for our new arrival and calculating his age when our baby is 18 (a very young-at-heart octogenarian).
A little back-story: At the beginning of 2009, we decided to stop using birth control and, doing nothing extraordinary, we’d see if we got pregnant. We weren’t adamant that we must have a child, yet we were open to bringing one into our lives if that’s what was meant to be. Given our ages we figured that the odds might be long on such an occurrence . . . but here we are!
We are full of excitement, joy, and anticipation for what we believe will be an amazing, heart-opening and life-affirming adventure for us, our child, and all those who support us as you do. We’ve created an intention for our journey that we invite you to join us in holding.
Intention
We intend to gratefully and gracefully receive this gift of new life into our lives and our family. We will honor the responsibility we’ve been granted and savor the joy of this pregnancy and the parenting experience. We will nurture this growing life with love, attention, tenderness, strength and joy, creating a healthy, easy, and joyful pregnancy as we wait for baby’s birth. We will open ourselves to growing even more fully into who we were meant to be, and we will support our child to grow fully into he or she is meant to be. We intend to trust Life and nature as well as the wisdom we each carry within. We will also do our best to foster community throughout this process—both to support us on this journey as well as to forge deep connections in this world that will soon be welcoming a new member.
We’ve written more about how baby came to be and will be posting updates from time to time at the Lavender-Mulkey Baby Blog (http://lmbaby.wordpress.com). We hope you’ll want to stay in touch via the blog since it’s the most convenient way for us to communicate with all of our beloved friends and family . . . now and in the months to come.
Thank you for the connection that we share. We send you our love and our gratitude for your presence in our lives.
Shonnie & Bruce
Shonnie Lavender & Bruce Mulkey
828-778-2871 (S)
828-778-5155 (B)
Lavender-Mulkey Baby Blog
P.S. Since we purposefully live a simple lifestyle and endeavor to keep our consumerism in check, we plan to acquire excellent-quality, used baby gear. Thus, if you know of any good resources for this or have baby-related items that you want to sell or give away, please let us know.
P.P.S. You’re welcome to share this news with anyone who might be interested.
Saturday, March 6th, 2010Local political and religious leaders who use the Bible to justify condemnation of gays may want to reconsider
Some political and religious leaders in our community have turned to selected passages from the Bible as moral justification for their intolerance of gays, most frequently quoting Leviticus 18:22: “You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; such a thing is an abomination.” But if you’re going to take the Good Book literally, doesn’t that mean you have to also condone slavery (Exodus 21:7) and stoning anyone who works on the Sabbath (Exodus 35:2 )?
Watch this clip from the NBC series “West Wing” as President Jed Bartlett asks a homophobic radio talk show host these questions and more.
President Bartlett: I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I have you here. I’m interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She’s a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff, Leo McGarry, insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police? Here’s one that’s really important because we’ve got a lot of sports fans in this town: touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you?
Support equal rights for all Ashevillians
Let the Asheville City Council know that you support same-sex domestic partner benefits–equal compensation for equal work–for all Asheville city employees by emailing the mayor and all city council members at AshevilleNCCouncil@ashevillenc.gov. This issue comes before the council next Tuesday, February 9, and I encourage you to attend that meeting to show your support for equal rights for all Ashevillians.
From Councilperson Gordon Smith at Scrutiny Hooligans
Let the Asheville City Council know that you support same-sex domestic partner benefits–equal compensation for equal work–by emailing the mayor and all city council members at AshevilleNCCouncil@ashevillenc.gov. This issue comes before the council next Tuesday, February 9, and I encourage you to attend that meeting to show your support for equal rights for all Ashevillians.
I’m writing to let you know that I support same-sex domestic partner benefits–equal compensation for equal work. Adopting such a policy will be a very positive step toward equal rights for all Ashevillians.
On Feb. 9th your Asheville City Council will consider the question of whether to provide equal compensation for equal work. Domestic Partnership Benefits (DPB) for city employees with same-sex partners address a number of very important social and economic factors:
- Improve recruitment and retention of quality employees
- Provide equal compensation for equal work to our employees who are denied the option to marry
Providing Domestic Partner Benefits to same-sex employees will also:
- Improve Asheville’s reputation as one friendly to our LGBT citizens
- Improve Asheville’s reputation as friendly to gay tourists
- Strengthen families through health, stability, and respect
- Compete with private sector employers
- Bolster Asheville’s reputation as a creative, accepting, diverse economic climate for entrepreneurs
I’ve moved forward with this initiative now because City staff will be presenting an analysis of our health and benefits packages in a worksession on March 9th. Including our LGBT employees is crucial. Seven other government entities in North Carolina have already passed DPB. Three of them, including Mecklenburg County, passed same-sex only DPB. It’s perfectly legal, responsible, and just.
Read more by clicking here.
Hope to see you at the city council meeting next Tuesday!
Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010Will you help provide health care for the uninsured in Buncombe County?
Next weekend I will be taking part in HeartStrings, an annual fund raiser for Project Access that will help to provide medical care for low-income, uninsured folks in Buncombe County. Asheville CrossFit is one of the sponsors of this event.
As part of my participation, I am seeking to raise at least $200 in contributions to support Project Access patients. I a
m asking you to contribute in one of two ways by Friday, February 5:
- A financial donation using the secure online form by clicking here.
- A contribution of a non-monetary nature (e.g., positive thoughts, prayers, passing this letter on to others who might wish to support me with a personal note from you, etc.)
It is unfortunate that many of our fellow citizens still lack essential health care, but until we create a system in which health care is a right rather than a privilege, Project Access will continue to fill a great need in our community.
Thanks a lot for your consideration of my request!
Bruce
HeartStrings Details
Project Access is a program of Buncombe County Medical Society that provides free health care to low-income uninsured residents of Buncombe County. In 2008, physician volunteers contributed more than $14 million of free medical care and over 3,500 people were able to receive the medical care they needed—even life saving specialty care like heart surgery—for free.
The goal of Project Access is to provide a coordinated system for helping uninsured people get the care they need in the most efficient and cost effective way possible. Physicians who volunteer their time, as well as hospitals and other providers who donate resources, provide the care to Project Access patients.
100% of the money we raise during Heartstrings will be used to pay for programmatic essentials such as eligibility screening, medications, durable medical equipment (like wheelchairs and crutches), case management, language interpretation, and other services that ensure that the patient receives comprehensive, high quality care. Donations are tax-deductible.
If you want to learn more, please visit https://www.bcmsonline.org/pa/pp/.
Saturday, January 30th, 2010Shonnie & Bruce’s New Year’s letter
Dear friends and relatives,
Well, January 1, 2010 was the anniversary of our 13 years of life together—13 remarkable years filled with blessings we couldn’t have imagined on the first day of 1997. Putting down roots in the eclectic mountain city of Asheville, North Carolina; learning to live simpler, more fulfilling lives; attaining a greater awareness of our connection with you and the other beings on our planet; gaining a deeper understanding of the gifts we’ve been given and how we might share them; and supporting one another to live more authentically, lovingly, playfully and consciously.
As with the other 12 years, 2009 brought us great joy along with some pain.
Celebrating a new president
The year began with a trip to Washington, D.C. in January to participate in the Presidential Inauguration. As a campaign staff member, Bruce received invitations to the inauguration ceremony and two inaugural 
balls. These exciting activities were not without their challenges, but overall we figure we went four for six:
- We had an excellent place to stay in the very convenient Capitol Hill area thanks to our friend Greg Barton.
- We enjoyed a scrumptious dinner and warm hospitality at the home of one of Bruce’s Ohio campaign co-workers, Emma Levine.
- We joined 10,000 other participants in the inspiring Day of Service putting together care packages for our troops overseas.
- Due to a logistic snafu, we missed the swearing in of Barack Obama but got to listen to it on a cell phone.
- We arrived at the ball we were scheduled to attend that evening only to find it overly crowded, so we opted for a quiet dinner at a nearby restaurant.
- We had a great time celebrating with campaign co-workers at the Staff Ball where the President and First Lady came to sincerely thank us for our campaign work.
Connecting with our relatives
Throughout the year we visited and were visited by lots of our relatives. In March we travelled to Florida to spend some time with Shonnie’s dad and step-mom, Bob and Deb Lavender, and Bruce’s brother and sister-in-law, Art and Eve Mulkey. In June we journeyed to Bruce’s hometown of Tullahoma, Tennessee for a party to celebrate the marriage of Larissa, daughter of Bruce’s sister Nancy and her husband Mike Chaney, to Marco Homrighausen. We welcomed Marco to the family and made sure Bruce’s mom Sue had a good time and got to and from the party without a hitch. In late August Shonnie’s stepdad Charles German and his wife Linda visited us in Asheville. And during early September we flew to Colorado for another stay with Shonnie’s dad and step-mom at their lovely new home in Broomfield. Then we visited Bruce’s daughter Lilla Newton, her husband Brandon along with the grandkids Molly and Jack in Colorado Springs.
Gardening galore!
During the spring Shonnie started a community garden in our townhome complex. She enrolled five other families into the process which started with turning a 25’ x 25’ area of grass into 6 individual garden beds and installing three 90-gallon rain barrels. Partial results of the Lavender-Mulkey garden plot included over 100 pounds of cucumbers (most turned into bread and butter pickles), zucchini that became a summer’s worth of zucchini quiches and bread and tomatoes galore. The best part of the garden was how it brought a small group of neighbors into greater community … something we look forward to continuing in 2010.
Sounding the climate crisis alarm
In May Bruce participated in The Climate Project North American Summit in Nashville. The Climate Project is an international non-profit founded by former Vice President Al Gore with a mission to increase public awareness of the climate crisis at a grassroots level worldwide.
A time of sorrow
One note of sadness . . . Our dear 21-year-old kitty Chocolate passed from her earthly form in August, a transition that often seemed more challenging for us than for her. Through an animal communicator Chocolate tells us she’s doing fine and that she thoroughly enjoyed her time with us. She also wants us to go on our trail runs more regularly and for Bruce to finish the book he’s been working on.
Cecil is elected
During the summer and fall we both supported local progressive Cecil Bothwell in his candidacy for the Asheville City Council. Shonnie emceed a lively campaign event at the YMI Cultural Center, and Bruce served as Cecil’s communications guy throughout the campaign. On November 3 Cecil was elected along with several other progressive candidates.
Shonnie completes work on her M.A.
After working arduously for 2.5 years, in mid-December Shonnie completed her coursework for her master’s degree in Organizational Leadership from Gonzaga University. Shonnie earned a 4.0 for her degree and will accept her diploma in May at Gonzaga in Spokane, Washington.
A Caribbean celebration!
To celebrate Shonnie’s achievement and, belatedly, Bruce’s successful work for Obama in Ohio, we vacationed in Saba, a five-square-mile island in the Netherland Antilles in the Caribbean with a total population of 1500. To get there we flew directly from Charlotte to St. Martin after 
spending the night at the home of Bruce’s nephew Dylan, his wife Kristin and their kids, Riley and Kate. From St. Martin we took the ferry to Saba.
At an elevation of 1500 feet, our simple but comfy cottage at El Momo provided an extraordinary view of the sun sinking into the sea at the end of each day. With high temperatures in the low 80s, we hiked, visited shops in the village, relaxed, read, dined at local eateries, cooked meals of local organic veggies and snorkeled, plus Shonnie went scuba diving several times, sighting numerous turtles, barracuda, and a manta ray, as well as innumerable other amazing sea creatures. In addition, we connected with a number of our fellow guests, the innkeepers and others on the island. It was a glorious trip, and Shonnie got to practice her French during our one day in St. Martin on the way home while Bruce learned to say “Bonjour.”
Entering the new year
Going into the new year, Shonnie continues her work as a life skills coach for Project Access, an innovative and much-emulated program of the Buncombe County Medical Society that provides healthcare for those who can’t afford it. Bruce continues his work as a writer and coach to those who want to write a book. Both of us are serving as facilitators for Building Bridges, a program designed to forge deeper connections between the black and white residents of Asheville. In addition, Bruce takes on the presidency of WNC for Change, an organization that supports progressive causes. In her spare time, Shonnie is thinking of applying to universities at which she may pursue her PhD.
Our intention during 2010 is to be open to what Life presents us—the things we like as well as the things we don’t like—and to all the surprises that are likely to come our way.
We wish each and every one of you a very happy New Year and that 2010 brings you all your heart truly desires!
With gratitude for your presence in our lives,
Shonnie and Bruce
Monday, January 4th, 2010Pry Me Off Dead Center
Pry Me Off Dead Center
by Ted Loder, Guerillas of Grace
O persistent God
deliver me from assuming your mercy is gentle.
Pressure me that I may grow more human,
not through the lessening of my struggles,
but through an expansion of them
that will undamn me
and unbury my gifts.
Deepen my hurt
until I learn to share it
and myself
openly,
and my needs honestly.
Sharpen my fears
until I name them
and release the power I have locked in them
and they in me.
Accentuate my confusion
until I shed those grandiose expectations
that divert me from the small, glad gifts
of the now and the here and the me.
Expose my shame where it shivers,
crouched behind the curtains of propriety,
until I can laugh at last
through my common frailties and failures,
laugh my way toward becoming whole.
Deliver me
from just going through the motions
and wasting everything I have
which is today,
a chance,
a choice,
my creativity,
your call.
O persistent God,
let how much it all matters
pry me off dead center
so if I am moved inside
to tears
or sighs
or screams
or smiles
or dreams,
they will be real
and I will be in touch with who I am
and who you are
and who my sisters and brothers are.
My life with Chocolate
Chocolate came bounding into the world in Arlington, Texas in 1988, and from early on, it was obvious that this kitty had a mind of her own, a common trait of all felines, but especially pronounced in this energetic little bundle of fluffy black fur.
My wife Deb and I had adopted Chocolate’s parents, Rocky and Sinjin, at a local pet shop, and before Rocky departed for parts unknown and Sinjin got “fixed,” they had one batch of kittens that included, of course, Chocolate, along with two brothers and a sister. Chocolate immediately became known as a cat who made choices for herself regardless of what the humans desired. When she wanted to be held, she’d crawl into your 
lap; if you put her in your lap, she’d extricate herself as quickly as possible. She was a feisty and spirited little girl, and she groomed herself impeccably.
When Deb and I parted ways in 1991, Chocolate came with me. The two of us were constant companions, and our evening ritual included Chocolate climbing into bed with me, laying on my chest for a while, purring resonantly, head butting my hand or arm to bring my attention to her rather than the book I was reading, then retiring to sleep by my side throughout the night.
Just the two of us in the hills of Austin
When we relocated to a small cottage in the hills outside Austin shortly thereafter, Chocolate began to more fully express her natural feline instincts. She roamed the woods, played in the streams and drank from the nearby lake. She chased squirrels, mice and other rodents, occasionally bringing back her prey as a gift to me. From time to time she’d stay out all night long and once or twice for several days at a time. But she always returned home, and we’d pick up our bedtime ritual where we’d left off. (more…)
Another joyful Jubilee! celebration
Another enlivening and evocative celebration at Jubilee! Community this Sunday morning. And as always, the opportunity for profound connection with lot of folks. Some highlights from Minister of Ritual Howard Hanger, others who made the magic possible as well as YouTube versions of some of the songs we sang. May peace be with all of y’all! Oh, yeah!
From Howard’s meditation on risky business
“There’s no such thing as security in this life, sweetheart; and the sooner you accept that fact, the better off you’ll be. The person who strives for security will never be free. The person who believes that she’s found security will never reach paradise. What she mistakes for security is purgatory. You know what purgatory is, Gwendolyn? It’s the waiting room, it’s the lobby. Not only does she have the wrong libretto, she’s stuck in the lobby where she can’t see the show.” –Tom Robbins, Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas
“A good talking to” by Donna Glee Williams and Tebbe Davis
What should you care about, NOW? Is it really the car you drive, with all the bells and whistles? Keeping the grass mowed and the edges trimmed? The latest hand-bags, sensible pumps, hair, nails, wide-screen, cellphone? Toys, toys, and more toys?
[ . . . ]
But you need to hear the message from people you love, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers and your best friends. They have to remind you of what matters, and you have got to hear the lesson . . . or else.
Wo-Ya-Ya
we are going, heaven knows where we are going,
we’ll know we’re there
we will get there, heaven knows how we will get there,
we know we will
Stand by me
When the storms of life are raging, stand by me
What a Wonderful World
Ripple
“What is to give light must endure burning.” –Victor Frankl
