By Kylie Maxwell, North Asheville Living

Bruce Mulkey went down several professional paths in a variety of locations before finally finding his way to Asheville and his true calling.

In a previous incarnation Bruce Mulkey was an aloof, hedonistic, hard drinking rebel (without much of a cause) who initially dabbled in a variety of professions—schoolteacher, log home builder, and marketing/public relations. Having miraculously survived that era, at midlife the universe intervened with a series of startling wake-up calls that could not be ignored. Awakening to a more empathetic, open-minded, and authentic way of being along with the allure of the Blue Ridge Mountains, Bruce moved to Asheville and fully claimed his calling as a writer.

“After I graduated from college in 1966, I followed some friends into law school, but my heart wasn’t in it, and I dropped out after the first quarter. Uncertain of my professional path but needing an income, for a few years I taught high school, then had a stint as a teacher-counselor at a school for disturbed youth. During this period, my first wife Shannon and I brought our darling daughter Lilla into the world.

“In the early 1970s, I gathered a group of my free-spirited, hipster pals—my brother Art, my then-brother-in-law Harry, and our buddy Bob—to build log houses in and around Knoxville. We called ourselves Mountaineer Builders, and together, we built log kits, restored aging log homes, and crafted homes from scratch using 6”x12” timbers. Scorning the nine-to-five grind, we chose strenuous physical labor in all seasons in the hills and mountains of East Tennessee. The log home we were proudest of was the one we built for Guy and Candie Carawan. Guy, a folk singer and songwriter had introduced the song “We Shall Overcome” to the civil rights movement in the Sixties

“Making up our own rules as we went, we’d knock off work mid-afternoon every Friday to play handball, with the losing doubles team buying the first pitcher of beer at our favorite watering hole—the Roman Room.

“For years after that, I continued to sidestep my true calling because, deep down, I was terrified of exposing my inner reality. I was, however, willing to take jobs in communications, marketing, and public relations, all positions that required some impersonal business-related wordsmithing. But, as Gregg Levoy writes in his book Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life, “Callings keep surfacing until we deal with them.” So, after numerous wake-up calls, including bankruptcy and divorce, in 1986, I stopped drinking cold turkey, began to shed my hyper-masculine façade, and finally acknowledged that, yes, I am a writer.”

And writing, as a career, has led Bruce down several life paths.

“Living in Fort Worth in the late 1980s, I wrote customer correspondence for a national insurance company. After I moved to Austin in 1992, through a fortuitous connection, I landed a freelance gig creating teacher materials for high school textbooks at Holt, Rinehart & Winston. In between the textbook projects, when my father, Mack Mulkey, died in 1996, I wrote his biography, Truly a Gentle Man, and I presented bound copies to my mother and other family members.

“My wife Shonnie Lavender and I settled in Asheville in 1997, and in the early 2000s, for nearly five years, I wrote a regular editorial column for the Asheville Citizen-Times. Over the years, my essays and op-eds appeared in The Washington Post, Common Dreams, the ManKind Project Journal, SelfGrowth.com, Authory, and The Good Men Project, among others. Topics have included ‘My Gridiron Daze,’ ‘I’m a Recovering Racist,’ ‘My Time as an Obama Field Organizer in Ohio,’ ‘I Don’t Mind Growing Old: I Just Don’t Want to Be There When it Happens,’ ‘Bottoming Out, Cold Turkey, and Waking Up,’ ‘and Defending Democracy in Challenging Times.’”

And it’s not just articles in newspapers and magazines where Bruce displays his love of words. “In the early 2000s, I independently published Happiness Now! and co-authored and published I Do, I Do: The Marriage Vow Workbook with Shonnie.

“Writing became my compass, my therapy, and my contribution—my way of supporting the creation of a more compassionate, just, and sustainable world and to invite others to share their contributions toward this end as well. You can check out my op-eds and essays on my website—brucemulkey.com and at Substack.” substack.com/@brucemulkey.

Bruce’s wife of 27 years, Shonnie, is currently a licensed clinical mental health counselor and parent coach, deeply dedicated to her profession. “I’m a recovering people pleaser and perfectionist myself, so I know firsthand what it’s like to lose touch with your own truth under the weight of internal criticism and cultural expectations about who you’re supposed to be. My approach is grounded in formal clinical training, and by facing my own life—being adopted, losing a parent during young adulthood, building a marriage that has lasted more than 27 years, bringing our daughter into the world, and facing a cancer diagnosis.

“I build safe, trusting relationships with clients of all ages through an affirming, compassionate, non-judgmental approach—meeting people where they are while giving them the support they need to grow. What I love most is helping people slow down, get compassionately curious about themselves, and learn to tend to their own needs and wellbeing. When we understand ourselves and heal our deepest wounds, life often becomes easier and more naturally peaceful.”

Check out Shonnie’s website at: shonnielavender.com. Beginning this fall Shonnie will be affiliated with NOCD, a nationwide therapy group providing evidence-based treatment for clients with OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder).

In addition, Bruce, Shonnie, and their 15-year-old teen Gray believe in community service and volunteering, particularly for animals.

“Our family volunteers with the Asheville Humane Society and Brother Wolf. We regularly foster kittens for both organizations. In fact, our two most recent feline additions to our family were originally foster kittens we fell in love with. We currently have cats Max, Tink, Char, Socks, Poppy, and Okie sharing our home.

“I’m also the leader of the Social Justice Team for Jubilee! Community, an inclusive faith community that honors all spiritual traditions. Shonnie and I both served on the Jubilee! Board of Directors at different times. Jubilee! founder and former minister Rev. Howard Hanger officiated our 1999 wedding, and he baptized Gray in 2011.”

Creative expression also runs in the family. Gray, a sophomore at the School of Inquiry and Life Sciences in Asheville (SILSA), is an artist who participates in the Sketchbook Club, a biweekly community gathering focused on creative collaboration, artistic education, and community building. But Gray’s creativity doesn’t stop with their artwork. When Gray wants to do something, they find the resources needed to show the way—TikTok, YouTube, etc. Recently, Gray alone made a lovely and delicious apple pie with a crisscross crust on top entirely from scratch!

Being active members of the community also includes involvement in several area sports. “I played football from junior high through college, then switched to handball, which I’ve played for more than 50 years, almost 30 of those years with my pals at the downtown Asheville YMCA,” Bruce says. “I met Shonnie in 1995 training for the Austin Motorola Marathon. The seven members of our tight-knit training group planned to get together one Saturday night for music and a few beers, but at the last minute, everyone backed out, everyone but Shonnie and me. Nonetheless, the two of us decided to go ahead with the plans. And even though Shonnie was 24 and I was 53, an outing that began as two running buddies out on the town became a serendipitous first date.

“Shonnie and I both completed two marathons and several half-marathons during the 1990s. When we moved to Asheville in 1997, we took up trail running and competed in the rigorous 17.8-mile Shut-In Ridge Trail Race twice in the early 2000s. Shonnie is an avid pickleball player and joined her pickleball partner Liz Button to place second in their division in the recent Asheville Doubles Pickleball League tournament. Gray previously played for the Tar Devils field hockey club and is now a member of the Asheville High School junior varsity field hockey team.”

In addition, the natural world plays an important role in Bruce’s life.

“From a very young age, I’ve felt drawn to the natural world: the quiet of the woods, the rush of rivers, and the rhythm of moving through wild places on foot, by kayak, or raft. The outdoors was my playground, my teacher, and my sanctuary. Some of my most vivid memories were made beneath open skies and towering trees.

“In 1958, at just 15 years old, I joined a 10-day canoe expedition through the Boundary Waters Wilderness on the Minnesota–Canadian border with the Boy Scouts of America. Paddling across pristine lakes, portaging gear between watersheds, sleeping under the stars—those days taught me self-reliance, resilience, and the deep peace that comes from living simply in nature.

“Throughout the 1970s and 1980s, I went on numerous backpacking trips with friends—ranging from two to six days—most of them along the Appalachian Trail as it follows the Tennessee–North Carolina border. These journeys were more than hikes; they were pilgrimages. With each step, I shed the noise of the world and reconnected with something essential within myself.

“In 1989, I joined an Outward Bound group for a 10-day sea kayaking adventure along the Outer Banks of North Carolina—a dynamic, ever-changing coastline where wind, water, and weather demanded presence and adaptability. Years later, in 2003, Shonnie and I paddled together through the serene, island-dotted waters of the San Juan Islands off the coast of Washington, a quieter, more intimate adventure, but no less profound.

“Whitewater rafting became a passion beginning in the 1980s. Shonnie, Gray and I have tackled rivers across the Southeast—the Ocoee, French Broad, Nantahala, and the legendary Chattooga, where the wild water and steep gorges deliver both adrenaline and awe. In 2023, the three of us shared a three-day rafting trip down the Green River in Utah, laughing, shouting, and holding on tight as we navigated rapids together. It was a rare gift: adventure, shared across generations. Afterwards, we had an opportunity to visit with my older daughter Lilla (who lives in Denver), her husband Brandon, and our grandkids Molly and Jack.”

And with outdoor adventures came important lessons Bruce has never forgotten and unexpected awakenings.

“For several years, beginning in 1988, I traveled from Texas to north Georgia each summer to participate in Way of a Warrior, an intensive weeklong retreat focused on personal growth, team building, and nature immersion. The program included a ropes course, white-water rafting on the Chattooga River, and a solo camping experience.

“One night, after dinner, each of us ventured into the forest with only a sleeping bag, a bottle of water, and a plastic tarp. As dusk settled on the banks of the Chattooga, I lay alone in my makeshift shelter, surrounded by the river’s murmur and the songs of evening insects.

“Then, as darkness deepened, I was overcome by a profound sense of coming home—home to the mountains, to the forest, to the animals, to myself. In that stillness, I knew with certainty: someday, I would return to live in the southern Appalachians.

Many of us, who have answered the siren call of these Blue Ridge Mountains, have also found yet another reason besides the naturally beautiful scenery that literally takes the breath away: the people and communities that fill these mountains with a true sense of ‘home.’

“Folks in our neighborhood did an extraordinary job of assisting one another during the aftermath of Hurricane Helene in 2024,” Bruce says. “Neighbors took their chain saws to remove downed trees that were blocking roads and driveways. Since the electricity was off for an extended period, a neighbor with solar power set up a charging station for folks to charge their phones. And given that we were without running water, another neighbor made regular visits to a nearby creek to pump water to share so folks could flush their toilets and wash dishes after boiling the water. Perhaps the highlight was the communal Questionable Meat Party. Meat, fish, and produce were going bad without refrigeration, so some neighbors fired up their grills, and we brought steaks, burgers, chicken, fish, and veggies and had a feast!”

This scene was no doubt repeated in dozens of neighborhoods and communities throughout Western North Carolina after Helene roared through, especially in the first days when uncertainty reigned. Bruce sums up that spirit in perfect words: “The way our neighbors support and care for one another, not only during challenging times but as a matter of course, is one of the things our family most enjoys about living in north Montford. We treasure our connections with our neighbors and are glad to have the opportunity to stop and chat on walks around the neighborhood and hang out with them at our occasional neighborhood gatherings. I would not want to live anywhere other than my north Montford neighborhood.”

Well said, Bruce. Well said!