Papa’s words ringing in my ears

“Papa’s words ringing in my ears, son, you got to get tighter with your tears.”

As I listened to these lyrics of the Willie Nelson song, Old Fords and a Natural Stone, I was transported back more than half a century to my Tullahoma (TN) High School graduation.

Our graduation took place on the evening of May 23, 1961, a few days after I’d returned from playing in a high school All-American football game in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. In full view of the throng of relatives and onlookers in the high school auditorium, one by one, members of the class of 1961 received their diplomas. And as we sang our alma mater for what I knew would be the final time, I began to weep, overwhelmed by a powerful sense of impending loss as long-time friends and comrades were about to go our separate ways.

I hastily fled the assembly, trying to hide the tears streaming down my face. But as I burst into the hallway, I inadvertently ran right into the arms of Miss Mitchell, my beloved sixth-grade teacher. She did her best to comfort me: “It’s OK, Bruce. It’s really OK.” But terrified that my friends might see me crying, I dashed around the corner to the nearest restroom.

“Guys do not cry,” I silently chastised myself as I rinsed my face with cold water and ran my hand through my hair. But my heart told a different story as unfamiliar emotions continued to well up inside me.

It would take a while, around three decades, before I finally came to realize that being a man meant allowing myself a full range of feelings, including sadness, grief, fear as well as happiness, compassion, and love.