Category: Shifting cultural paradigm
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Change the Story, Change Our Future
In 1961, I was preparing to start college at the University of Tennessee, and it was time to choose a major. My dad, Mack Mulkey, was an electrical engineer, and I had previously thought, Maybe I’ll follow in his footsteps. But math wasn’t my strong suit, so I settled on pre-med—not because I wanted to…
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Papa’s words ringing in my ears
“Papa’s words ringing in my ears, son, you got to get tighter with your tears.” As I listened to these lyrics of the Willie Nelson song, Old Fords and a Natural Stone, I was transported back more than half a century to my Tullahoma (TN) High School graduation. Our graduation took place on the evening…
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The Death Rattle of an Old America
In so many ways, Donald Trump represents the death rattle of an old America, and it’s loud and it’s violent. When Eddie Glaude Jr. shared these words in 2021 — quoted in I Alone Can Fix It: Donald J. Trump’s Catastrophic Final Year by Carol Leonnig and Philip Rucker — the country was still reeling…
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The Oligarchs Have Decided: It’s Time for Trump to Go!
My latest conspiracy theory, with some wishful thinking thrown in. The fix is in, folks. A cabal of oligarchs, including Elon Musk, Rupert Murdoch, and Peter Thiel, has decided that Trump, with his diminished physical and mental capacity (plus poll numbers in the toilet), has outlived his usefulness, and the team is organizing a coup…
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FIRST ACID TRIP . . . COURTESY OF THE U.S. ARMY
My brother Butch and our pal Rusty were roommates and students at MTSU in Murfreesboro, Tennessee in the fall of 1968, working part-time at the local Samsonite manufacturing plant. I was living nearby, and another of our crew, Nubbin, was visiting from Sewanee when a small package arrived at Butch and Rusty’s apartment with no…
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This is what courage looks like!
A little over a week ago, I got an intimate view of tenacity and courage from seven bold women, including my wife Shonnie Lavender and our friend Elizabeth Likis. On March 13, Republican Rep. Chuck Edwards was in Asheville for a town hall at A-B Tech. Since the college auditorium where the town hall took…
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On becoming a “real man”
Loving, sensitive, trusting, and curious when I entered life in 1943, at around five years of age, in reaction to the disparaging remarks and denigrating actions by the mostly well-meaning adults around me, I unconsciously began to believe I was unlovable, inadequate, somehow inherently flawed. Little boys don’t do it like that! Let your grub…
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School Daze: My Rambling Route Through Our Public Education System
One evening a week or so ago, Shonnie, Gracelyn and I watched “Dead Poets Society” together. At the film’s conclusion, I began to ponder the course of my formal education—from the first grade through college. My initial foray in the public school system began at East Ward Elementary in Mount Pleasant, Texas, in 1949, and…
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Our 46th President!
Shonnie, Gracelyn, and I held hands and watched intently as President Biden repeated the final words of the oath of office: “I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United…
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What Happens in 2020 Stays in 2020!
2020 has undoubtedly been a year of tremendous challenges. The COVID-19 pandemic resulting in more than 340,000 deaths so far, a severe economic downturn, and disruption of our daily lives. The Black Lives Matter movement calling us to finally confront our personal and collective racism. Plus, a President who has proven himself unworthy of the…
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Get Out & Vote!
The 2020 general election is upon us and could prove to be the most important election in the history of the U.S., an opportunity to uphold our democratic values and stop the slide toward authoritarianism. Below is information about how you can cast your vote in North Carolina and help change the course of our…
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2020 . . . So Far
You may have seen that meme that was going around social media a week or two ago: “Dear 2020, none of this sh*t was on my vision board.” Well, life so far in 2020 has presented a number of unforeseen challenges, any one of which would have been sufficient to disrupt my family’s normal life…
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Podcast: Finding My Way Back Home
“Finding My Way Back Home” recounts my journey from toxic masculinity to a more mindful manhood, a voyage that includes participating in a transformational workshop, peeling back the encrusted layers of machismo, being dumped by a lover who finds my newfound vulnerability unmanly, reconciling with my beloved daughter, and serendipitously meeting the woman of my…
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Evergreen—A charter school committed to becoming racially inclusive
Evergreen Community Charter School is currently taking significant steps toward becoming a more diverse, equitable, and inclusive community.
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My essay is featured at the Washington Post!
Yes, I’m excited today because my personal essay “With over 40 years between the birth of my two daughters, I am two different fathers” is featured at the Washington Post On Parenting section.
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Letting go of fear, ill will, and my trusty six-gun
Well, they didn’t pry it out of my cold, dead hands. But my only remaining firearm has just left the premises.
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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Co-op
We popped into French Broad Food Co-op during the Women’s March in Asheville on Saturday for a few snacks and something to drink. And as I wandered the aisles, I thought, maybe it’s time to re-up our membership at the Co-op. Then, today I found this piece I wrote almost 20 years ago (March 2,…
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An Open Letter to My Daughter Gracelyn in the Era of Donald Trump
Today I write this letter to you so that you might better understand the tumultuous transformation that’s currently underway in our nation.
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We shouted out, “Who killed democracy?” when after all, it was you and me.
I believe we, the citizens of this nation, have been asleep for the past several decades. We began to pay more attention to our TV shows, our favorite celebrities, our sports teams, our fancy cars, our iPhones, and making money to buy more stuff than we did to our communities and the fabric of our…
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Failing some tests is truly painful.
I am a recovering racist. I grew up white in the South of the 50s and 60s. Most of the schools I attended were segregated. And I have rarely had more than superficial contact with men and women with skin color darker than mine.
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The Entire Journey–an astounding Super Bowl ad . . . from 84 Lumber
Brighten up your day with this poignant ad from 84 Lumber. Better bring some tissues.
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We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.
An essay I wrote during the Bush administration in 2003 that’s highly relevant today.
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Presidential inaugurations I’ll always remember
The first presidential inauguration I attended was Richard Nixon’s in 1969. Well, I guess I should say that I was actually there for the counter-inauguration . . .
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Talking the 2016 post-election blues
On a warm Texas morning on Wednesday, November 3, 1948, I remember my mom, Sue Mulkey, a life-long Democrat, gleefully asking our next-door neighbor, “Well, how do you like our new president?” Defying the predictions of almost every pundit and pollster, President Harry Truman, who had succeeded to the presidency when FDR died, had won…
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It’s In Every One Of Us
For your viewing pleasure on International Day of Peace.
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My one and only high school sex education class
In 1958, during my sophomore year at Tullahoma (TN) High School, all the boys in every class were ordered to the gymnasium bleachers with the male teachers for a sex education talk by a local physician, Dr. Ralph Brickell. The girls were sequestered in the auditorium with the female teachers for a similar talk by…
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Adult behavior fosters youth violence–December 15, 1999
Here’s a commentary about violence in our nation that I wrote for the Asheville Citizen-Times late in 1999 that seems unfortunately appropriate for these times. *** I take issue with your December 7 editorial “Latest school shooting should redouble efforts for solutions” in which you state that what has…
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My thoughts on the 2016 presidential election
Last evening Shonnie, Gracelyn and I were in the kitchen cooking dinner and listening to This Land is Your Land: Songs of Freedom. Buffy Sainte-Marie and her rendition of “The Universal Soldier,” Bob Dylan and Joan Baez crooning “With God on Our Side,” Cisco Houston singing “This Land is Your Land,” and more. And I…
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Spanking gets results . . . just not those you’re likely to desire.
My great-grandmother, Mae McCarthy (better known as Ma), who enjoyed dipping snuff and preferred another layer of body powder to regular bathing, had a Victorian attitude when it came to disciplining children. On a warm afternoon in June when I was four, I watched with dismay as Ma instructed Mom in how to choose a…
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What Was Really Behind North Carolina’s Anti-LGBT Bill
It was, in the end, about a 21st century governor who joined a short, tragic list of 20th century governors. You know at least some of these names, probably: Wallace, Faubus, Barnett. They were men who fed our worst impulses, men who rallied citizens against citizens, instead of leading their states forward. —Charlotte Observer editorial…
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What Men Really Want from a Lover
What do guys really want? Male stereotypes might have you believe that joining our pals for binge watching NCAA basketball tourney games while consuming lots of cold beer and hot pizza fulfill our ultimate desire. However, we guys have deeper wants and needs to share with our female counterparts, wants and needs that often go…
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I support Jasmine Beach-Ferrara for Buncombe County Commission
Below is my recent letter to the Asheville Citizen-Times backing Jasmine Beach-Ferrara for Buncombe County Commission. BACKING BEACH-FERRARA FOR SEAT ON COMMISSION When Amendment One passed in North Carolina in 2012, many pundits and politicians said it would take decades to change the discriminatory law and give LGBT people marriage equality in our state. Jasmine…
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Happy New Year!
What will you release? And what will you begin?
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I Don’t Mind Growing Old; I Just Don’t Want To Be There When It Happens.
“Don’t trust anyone over thirty,” I arrogantly proclaimed during the Sixties, when I was twenty-something and imagined I was bulletproof and would remain forever young. I’m now more than four decades beyond that imaginary line of demarcation. When I look in the mirror it’s clear that I am aging—and I struggle to accept the reality…
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Think we Americans have enough stuff?
I’ve been curious for a while about the prevalence of storage unit facilities in the U.S. and whether this phenomena exists in other nations. So, here are the facts: The United States has more than 50,000 storage facilities out of a total of 60,000 storage facilities worldwide (including 3000 in Canada and 1000 in Australia)….
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My 2001 op-ed opposing discrimination by Boy Scouts of America
Below is an op-ed I wrote in 2001 in my role as a columnist for the Asheville Citizen-Times. In light of recent decisions by the Boy Scouts of America, it seems timely to repost it now. * * * Even after four decades or so, I can still quote the Scout Law, the Scout Oath,…
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Proud of our community’s role in NC’s move to marriage equality
Since the U.S. Supreme Court struck down a key part of the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act in 2013, it was clear that marriage equality was on its way throughout our land. It really wasn’t a matter of if, but when. And I’m really proud of the role that Asheville and Buncombe County have played…
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Hieroglyphic Stairway, a poem by Drew Dellinger
it’s 3:23 in the morning and I’m awake because my great great grandchildren won’t let me sleep my great great grandchildren ask me in dreams what did you do while the planet was plundered? what did you do when the earth was unraveling? surely you did something when the seasons started failing? as the mammals,…
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Old white men struggle to turn back clock
What we’ve been witnessing at the General Assembly in Raleigh the past few months is the futile attempt by fearful, old, white men to hang on to the power and control to which they assume they’re entitled. These extremists imagine that if they can push women, gays, blacks and Latinos back to the status these…
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My personal journey from bigotry to equality
By the luck of the draw, in 1943, I was born white, male, heterosexual and middle class. I was instantly granted cultural privileges and advantages that gave me a distinct leg up as I made my way in the world. I grew up in a small town in Tennessee during the so-called “good old days,”…
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Aging is inevitable, growing old is not.
We never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery into which we are born. ~Albert Einstein Somewhere in the middle of your life, you meet an interesting new person. Yourself. ~Unknown If I’d known I was going to live this long I’d have taken better care of myself. ~Eubie Blake I harshly…